The Gym-free diet...sorta...

I've been dieting for the last few weeks. That means I'm cooking but my kitchen time is spent on providing nutrition within the boundaries of the diet and not going all willy nilly. I keep thinking about blogging my dieting adventures but it starts to get overwhelming when I think of the things I do each day. Please don't confuse that with me actually doing a lot. There are just several different components I've added into my diet and those seem to work for me.

I started my diet on 9/13. It's 10/6 and I've lost 16.3 lbs as of yesterday morning.

Here are some things I'm doing...

1. Avoid the gym and all exercise. Seriously!!! I had to get traction with my food intake and portion control. I'm bad about letting things slide because I can justify anything if I went to the gym that day. 
2. Once I can get my intake and portion control under control the numbers start moving down. Unless I can get the numbers moving by diet alone the rest is doomed. 
3. I weigh myself every day before I have breakfast (do it with minimal clothing) and I write down my weight and log it online. Screw what other people say. I weigh, I weigh often and I want to see those numbers going down. I have been known to weigh myself 3 times in one morning...removing everything to my skin to see how low the number will go.
4. I took pictures...I want to see the results as other people do. 
5. The first two weeks I did the Total Body Cleanse by Whole Foods. It's just a high fiber supplement taken in the evening...no crazy diet pills. I've found that at least a few pounds should have been "dropped" a long time ago and it's just weirdness clinging to my colon. Besides, I want all of the nutrients of the food I'm eating. 
6. After 3 weeks the numbers stopped sliding downward. They aren't going up, just hanging out. Not cool. I'm sticking to my dieting plan but I'll add in exercise to bump this plateau. Not crazy exercise...walking. I'll try to walk 2+ miles a few days this week.
7. Forget cheat days! I give myself one cheat meal a week. It's Saturday morning breakfast. Next week it will be Saturday morning breakfast and next month it will still be Saturday morning breakfast. If you want to hang out, grab a beer and eat chocolate with me...meet me for Saturday morning breakfast. If I let my cheat meal float I'll have 4 within 2 weeks and use every gathering as a justified cheat. I have turned down amazing meals these last few weeks. I'm bitter and cranky but I'd rather be a bitch than get those 16 lbs back. 
8. You gotta count calories. I keep mine under 1200. 
9. I only drink water (Not really--I don't like plain water so I only use it to take my vitamins), green tea (I make a gallon of iced green tea and take bottles with me everywhere), and coffee. 
10. No artificial sweeteners unless it's Stevia. That means no splenda or nutra-sweet and especially no diet colas.
11. No sugar...none! Not a single cookie or piece of candy. 
12. No carbs...no rice...bread...potatoes...nada.
13. No meat
14. You're scratching your head at those last two, eh?
15. I eat 1-2 servings of fish a day. Not fish breaded or covered in sauce...go for fish with dry rubs and a touch of EVOO or a light marinade that isn't loaded with juice and sugar. Most of my fish is usually baked or out of a can.
16. I eat vegetables...lots of vegetables that are low in carbs. Lots of green leafy stuff and nothing beany or white...except cauliflower. 
17. I make a big batch of vegetable soup and boil some cabbage on the weekends. I make many meals and sides with it or make huge salads with fun vegetables.
18. I carry a cooler almost everywhere that contains: Several water bottles full of iced green tea, Baby carrots, Hummus, Celery, Cubed cheese of a good quality and 1-2 String cheeses of questionable origin, 2 Snack bags: One with almonds and one with pistachios (these usually go in my handbag), Via coffee packets in cast I get a caffeine headache.
19. If there is any chance I'll be someplace that might not have diet approved items I pack an additional plastic container with a salad of some sort (tuna, straight up veggies or maybe a salad with some salmon on top). I'll sometimes add a half an avocado sliced with a teaspoon of Cesar dressing on top of it. These tuna wraps work well...just use a toothpick to keep them from unrolling.
20. I'm cranky and I glare at people who eat yummy food and openly bitch about my hate of diets. Then I eat my celery or nosh on my almonds.
21. I avoid restaurants
22. I eat lots of egg beaters in the mornings and have come up with some pretty yummy breakfast solutions that are about 100 calories each. This recipe is also handy.

I'll post more later including some meal plans and shopping lists.

Now I'm going to make myself a nice veggie burger topped with onions and bleu cheese along with a lovely side salad.

Powdering (or dicing or chopping) mushrooms...

A Moment of A-ha! Not the band...the mushroom!

As we've discussed, I'm adding the Cabbage Soup Diet into my low-carb eating plan for the next week. It's all in an attempt to help a cocktail dress fit a little better. That and it's kind of fun to embrace a fad diet for a few days. 

While I was making my soup/stew I had the most amazing kitchen epiphany. Why wait until the dehydrated mushrooms have re-hydrated in hot water before dicing them?

Let's back up...

I decided to add some mushrooms to the soup and opted to use the dehydrated mushrooms from my pantry.

I had two kinds. The trumpets are kind of big.

I tossed those in a bowl so I could add boiling water to re-hydrate them.

I reached in and started breaking them up with my fingers since I knew I'd be dicing them later. It was something to do until the kettle heated. 

And then I giggled...it was maniacal laugh. If I had a mustache I would have twirled it. 

I took my bowl of dehydrated mushrooms and dumped them in my mini chopper and pulsed them until they looked like this...

The ones on the bottom (it's hard to see in this picture) are super tiny.

You can pulse them as finely as you want. 

Heck, you can completely powder them and add it by the tablespoon into just about anything. 

I still wanted mushrooms that were chopped looking. You can also go for a dice or a mince depending on how much you process it.

I am never dicing mushrooms again for soup.

I'm guessing this will finally be the way I can sneak mushrooms into sauces without my husband looking for fungi invaders before he takes the first bite. I'm going to keep an eye out for other dehydrated foods that I use often and especially those that get a good dice before going into soups or casseroles. I'm also going to suggest this to my brother-in-law as he's always working to have his girls eat healthier foods. This is a great way to incorporate (ok, sneak or hide) vegetables. The smaller you make it the harder it will be for picky eaters to identify in a dish.

Fad Diets...Yes, Please.

There are a gazillion fad diets out there and another gazillion people telling you to make a lifestyle change instead.

Poppycock, I say! (And I say it often because it makes me laugh.)

I also say:

Serendipitous

Bajiggity

Snicklefritz

Tell me Snicklefritz isn't fun to say! And it's her fault I say it now.

I'm a huge fan of the fad diet. I'm a huge fan of anything that will make my ass look less huge in the next 7 days. I have an event next week that will require a cocktail dress. Shoot me now. I'm wearing a dress purchased before the Hub's last year of law school...when I gained 15 lbs. The fit is bajiggity and it's making me a snicklefritz.

So for the next 7 days, I'm going on not one fad diet, but two at the same time.

I'm already a vegetarian and I don't consider that a weight loss diet. It's too often confused with the pasta and chocolate diet and probably why my dress doesn't fit.

I am going on a vegetarian low-carb diet and part of that plan will integrate the cabbage soup diet. I haven't tried the recipe for the cabbage soup diet. I'm really just going to slightly tweek my stewed cabbage recipe and include it as meals within my low-carb diet.

I'm also staying below 1200 calories every day.

Perhaps we should call it what it is. "The Egg White, Spinach, Tuna and Cabbage Diet".

Oh, and I'm also doing the Whole Foods Complete Body Cleanse. It's good stuff and doesn't make my stomach get that flibbertigibbet feeling.

I'm not an idiot and I know I can't maintain this eating plan for long if I wanted to, which I don't. I also know that it will be all water weight and it will come back as soon as I'm finished.

However, seeing the number go down on the scale is good for morale. Seeing that number go back up ticks me off and keeps me motivated.

I'm not trying to drop 15lbs this week. I'd be happy if I could loose 5lbs and the dress fit a little better for this shin dig.

Update: I weighed on Wednesday evening after dinner and since then I've lost 10.1 lbs. It's Saturday. Granted I weighted after meals and stuff and I was clothed. Today I weighed before breakfast and was still in light sleepwear. But dude, it's so nice to see that number move. 

Jalapeno Tuna Pasta Salad with Corn

Oh Happy Day!

I found some jalapeno tuna in the grocery store and couldn't resist buying it. Tuna...with flavor...
Sign.
Me.
Up.

I took a taste right out of the can and WOW! Talk about a kick!

So I added a can of Mexicorn. Who doesn't have a can of Mexicorn for that recipe you can never remember?

And then I cooked up a little farfalle pasta (that's bow tie) ...

and combined it with a little mayo. 

I ended up with a great little pasta salad that only took 15 minutes to throw together with stuff I had in the pantry. 

(Yeah...I'm out of everything but I'm not going to the grocery store until this weekend when I have my muscle around to carry everything.)

I was just tossing things together and never bothered to take a picture. Sorry. Here's the recipe. Don't be scared if you think it's too hot. Just put your pasta salad and chill overnight and the flavors really mellow to become mild. I had some for lunch the next day and the flavors were very mellow and not as hot. If you like it with a kick, serve it straight up or just chill for a 20 minutes to let everything combine.

Jalapeno Tuna and Pasta Salad with Corn

1 Can on Jalapeno Tuna, drained
1 Can of Mexicorn, drained
1- 1 1/2 cup of bow tie or other small pasta
2 tbsp of Mayonnaise

Cook the pasta as directed in salted water, drain and rinse with cold water to stop cooking. While it's boiling... Pour tuna into a medium bowl and use a fork to break up large pieces. Add Mexicorn and mayonnaise and stir to combine. Add cooked pasta and stir to combine. Refrigerate.

The Un-Tan: Mad Scientist Edition...Skin Lightening Cream

I'm not a tanner. I don't bake in the sun or visit tanning beds.

Not in the last few years anyway.

I also stay pretty covered up when I go outside. I wear a baseball cap and try to stay out of direct sunlight. Sunscreen really only factors in when I'm trying to avoid getting a burn. I didn't really use it to avoid getting any tan at all.

Now I have an end of summer weird tan thing going on with my chest and arms. It bothers me in pictures so I'm doing something about it. I already use a tinted moisturizer with SPF 15 so my face doesn't have much color. Then again, SPF 15 is not a dark room so I'm probably a little darker on my face and chest than on my arms and stomach. 

I need to get rid of this farmer tan weirdness before fall kicks in so I've concocted a few treatments with what I had at the house. The Internet has a lot of weird skin bleaching creams and I don't want to go anywhere near those bad boys. 

The skin lightening cream isn't something I thought I'd try but I happened to have most of the ingredients handy. It actually called for lime juice and I have big plans for my limes so I wanted to use lemon juice. Since lemon juice is also a skin lightener I did some research into citric acid as a skin lightener and it turns out that the powdered lemonade mix will work and probably make the process less sticky. 

Just another thing you can use unsweetened lemonade drink mix for! They say you can scrub problem areas with lemon juice and salt. I'm thinking I'll make a solution with a little pinch of this leftover packet and see what happens. 

And I get to keep my lemons and limes for eating.

Yippy Skippy!

Skin Lightener Cream:

1/4 cup of Greek Yogurt
1 Tbsp Turmeric
1 tsp Unsweetened powdered lemonade mix (Kool Aid or generic)

Stir to combine and store in a wide mouth jar in your refrigerator. Make sure you label it! The mix is the same color as French's Yellow Mustard. 

Not mustard! I put it in a recycled (maybe Bruschetta) jar that was washed well and the label removed. I used a wide mouth so I can easily dip my fingers into it. Remember: it goes in the fridge! My yogurt was actually a day past the sell by date. So long as your yogurt still looks and smells like yogurt it's probably safe to use since you're only using it topically.

I tried a test area of this patch and left it on for about 30 minutes. Maybe 45. Who knows, I was cleaning bathtubs.

I actually saw a little results. I don't think I'd want to try this on my face. There was quite a tingle when I put it on my chest.

I just smeared some with my finger in a horizontal line across my chest.
It's not a big difference, especially with an iPhone photo, but I can see very mild lightening. 

Here are other uses for the lemonade powdered drink mix. I always keep it on hand for household chores and I can find the store brand for about $.15 a packet. 

JAG Base Assignments

The hubs received a email about Air Force JAG base assignments. In the past they would offer new officer candidates an option of two bases. The Air Force has stopped offering two base choices and now only gives you a take-it-or-leave-it base. While I am disappointed they have removed a choice, I do see their point of view. There just aren't that many openings available. I suspect it is also a way to find out which candidates are serious and eliminate some of the fence-sitters. Go big or go home, right?

I've been looking at this as a great adventure and I really don't care where we are assigned so long as the hubs enjoys his job. My sense of wanderlust is the stuff of legends. I'm not sure why the military lifestyle didn't appeal to me sooner. The idea of moving every 2-4 years is so perfectly aligned with my personality it's comical. I think it would be interesting to live in Alaska, the Pacific Northwest (or is it just the Pacific northwest?), the desert or anywhere overseas. I've never been to North Dakota. The weather is supposed to be dreadful but I think it can be as good or as bad as we make the situation. I'd love to live somewhere with mountains, four seasons and measurable snow fall.

I grew up near an Air Force base and it's the one base I have absolutely zero interest in ever seeing again. My avoidance of the area borders on hostile. I still have friends and family there and I try to visit occasionally. The visits usually involve a good sense of humor, patience, beer and less than 24 hours in town. There is also the part about avoiding all ex-boyfriends. "Anywhere but there" is the mantra I've been using every time we talk base assignments. Please keep your fingers crossed. Ugh! Been there, done that. It's just one base out of many so I'm hoping for the best since the odds are with us.

My family is smart and they can work email and buy plane tickets as easily as I can. We did pick bases close to my brothers because I'm a good sister and no fool when it comes to living near the kitchens of my sisters-in-law. (Awesomely good cooks!) Most of the choices on our dream sheet are places we've never lived and many places we've never seen. 

A few months ago I added all of our dream sheet bases to the weather app on my phone. It has been interesting to follow their weather and see the photos that people have posted about the weather. It has given me the chance to see how the weather differs from where we are now. I'm really jealous of the current conditions in quite a few places. Many places with notoriously bad weather aren't like that year round. Just looking at the high and low temps today helps ease the upcoming culture shock as I know about long springs, crisp falls and snow plows in their natural habitats. 

Housewife Approved: Must Have Products (Home Edition)

Over the years I've found some products that I can't live without. They do something that makes my life and my home run more smoothly. I'm adding some of my uses and some tips. I can clean my entire house without spending a ton on specialized cleaners. 

I am housewife...hear me roar!

You can also check out some Housewife Approved skin care items here.

1. Oxy Clean! 

I can't live without it. I've also discovered that the Kroger brand is also $3.99 for a 3.5lbs tub.

My Uses:

• Add 1/8-1/4 cup to each load of laundry with laundry detergent. I haven't purchased bleach since I started adding Oxy to each load. It's great about catching those sneaky little spills and stains that men don't think of mentioning and just toss the shirt with the stain in the laundry basket. It doesn't bleach out clothes so you can use it on colors or whites.
• Add 1/8 cup to the door of the dishwasher to give your dishwasher detergent a boost. I use it every load and hardly ever need to rewash.
• Add 1/4 cup to hot water in a mop bucket along with some Pine Sol or other smelly goodness to mop the floors.

Tip:

• Make sure you are using it it with warm or hot water. It doesn't work with cold water.
• Wear rubber gloves if you'll be washing something in the sink (curtains, delicates, etc.). It will dry your hands out faster than just about anything.
• If you find it on sale or get a coupon, buy multiples. 

2. Zout!

Back when I was a housewife in training wheels I washed and tumble dried a tube of red lipstick. Oh, the horror. It melted over my entire load of clothes that contained mostly work clothes. It was a new job and I had my new clothes on heavy rotation until the next few paychecks so my freak out was justified. I called a few friends in complete panic and one suggested Zout. She was a nurse and had done the same thing with a load of scrubs. Seems this household gem was once only sold to healthcare facilities for stain removal. Word got out and it's a secret weapon that belongs in everyone's laundry. Most recently I used it to amaze my friend after she took a bath in a very full glass of very red wine in her very cream dry clean only top.

Tip:

• Pre-treat if you can
• Spray it liberally and let it soak in and get working. Set it aside a have a glass of wine.
• You'll need to wash your hands and apply some good lotion. It will dry them out if you handle it. I try not to get my hands in it.
• There is no generic or substitute. It must be Zout. 

3. Ammonia

My step sister has a cleaning service and she taught me how to clean my whole house with clear ammonia and pine cleaner. You can save a mint on cleaning supplies. It's amazing. It's also crazy cheap. 

My Uses:

• Add 1/2 cup with a spash of pine cleaner to 1/2 gallon of hot water for mopping floors
• Add 1/2 cup with a splash of pine cleaner to 1/2 gallon for cleaning the microwave... or the wiping cabinets...or soaking grill grates...or cleaning grill tools...or just about anything.
• Add 3/4 cup of ammonia and 3/4 cup of baking soda to a load of towels to get rid of any musty smells.
• Any cleaning project I have starts with hot water in the sink, 1/2 cup of ammonia and a splash of pine cleaner. (By splash, in this instance I mean about 1/8 of a cup, adding more as necessary.)
• For particularly nasty baking dishes I will add a splash of it to the sink along with my dish soap to let things soak.

Tips:

• Only buy clear ammonia! Let me say (type) it again...ONLY BUY CLEAR (non-sudsing) AMMONIA.
• Sudsing ammonia is bad. Bad may be a strong word. It's suds up too much and leaves a residue and you can't add sudsing ammonia to the laundry. So, no sudsing stuff, ever.
• Yes, it smells ungodly. Deal. Stop sticking your nose in the bottle and inhaling. Geez.
• Used in moderation with Pine Sol or other scented all purpose cleaner the smell isn't overpowering.
• You can find it on the bottom shelf at most stores. They save those top shelves for the pricey stuff. It's often available in a store brand or other generic for about $2 for a half gallon. 
• Lemon scented is also available in the clear (non-sudsing) ammonia. 

4. Pine Sol

Shocking, I know.

Some people are Mr. Clean people. I'm a Pine Sol girl. I think my grandma used to clean with it. I love it because it reminds me of her house. 

I like Mr. Clean...I just like Pine Sol more. My friend Christopher loves Fabuloso. My aunt likes Spic N' Span. They probably all work as well but Pine Sol just smells cleaner to me. I also like the fragrance to stick around and it seems to stick around the longest. The original pine is my favorite followed by the Outdoor Fresh scent. Or is it Sparkling Wave? 

My Uses:

• I add about 1/8-1/4 cup to hot water and ammonia to clean just about everything
• Add 1/8 cup to my rug shampooer to make things smell like pine and not carpet shampoo. (I tested it first.)
• Add 1/2 cup to the laundry load when I'm washing dog beds, bath rugs, cleaning rags or kitchen towels.
• Pour some in a little warm water, get it all sudsy with your sprayer, dunk a rag, ring it, and wipe over counters, cabinets, doors, jams and other surfaces to make the house smell pretty. Let the water set in the sink for a while and it's like a sink full of air freshener. I've done this when I don't have time for a deep cleaning and have company coming over. 
• I'll pour a little of the blue in the toilet bowls just to make the bathrooms smell fresh between cleanings.

Tips:

• It's easy to find coupons online. 
• The Wal-Mart near my house sells gigantic bottles
• I sometimes add it to the laundry water when I'm washing gyms shoes or something else stinky.