The Un-Tan: Mad Scientist Edition...Skin Lightening Cream

I'm not a tanner. I don't bake in the sun or visit tanning beds.

Not in the last few years anyway.

I also stay pretty covered up when I go outside. I wear a baseball cap and try to stay out of direct sunlight. Sunscreen really only factors in when I'm trying to avoid getting a burn. I didn't really use it to avoid getting any tan at all.

Now I have an end of summer weird tan thing going on with my chest and arms. It bothers me in pictures so I'm doing something about it. I already use a tinted moisturizer with SPF 15 so my face doesn't have much color. Then again, SPF 15 is not a dark room so I'm probably a little darker on my face and chest than on my arms and stomach. 

I need to get rid of this farmer tan weirdness before fall kicks in so I've concocted a few treatments with what I had at the house. The Internet has a lot of weird skin bleaching creams and I don't want to go anywhere near those bad boys. 

The skin lightening cream isn't something I thought I'd try but I happened to have most of the ingredients handy. It actually called for lime juice and I have big plans for my limes so I wanted to use lemon juice. Since lemon juice is also a skin lightener I did some research into citric acid as a skin lightener and it turns out that the powdered lemonade mix will work and probably make the process less sticky. 

Just another thing you can use unsweetened lemonade drink mix for! They say you can scrub problem areas with lemon juice and salt. I'm thinking I'll make a solution with a little pinch of this leftover packet and see what happens. 

And I get to keep my lemons and limes for eating.

Yippy Skippy!

Skin Lightener Cream:

1/4 cup of Greek Yogurt
1 Tbsp Turmeric
1 tsp Unsweetened powdered lemonade mix (Kool Aid or generic)

Stir to combine and store in a wide mouth jar in your refrigerator. Make sure you label it! The mix is the same color as French's Yellow Mustard. 

Not mustard! I put it in a recycled (maybe Bruschetta) jar that was washed well and the label removed. I used a wide mouth so I can easily dip my fingers into it. Remember: it goes in the fridge! My yogurt was actually a day past the sell by date. So long as your yogurt still looks and smells like yogurt it's probably safe to use since you're only using it topically.

I tried a test area of this patch and left it on for about 30 minutes. Maybe 45. Who knows, I was cleaning bathtubs.

I actually saw a little results. I don't think I'd want to try this on my face. There was quite a tingle when I put it on my chest.

I just smeared some with my finger in a horizontal line across my chest.
It's not a big difference, especially with an iPhone photo, but I can see very mild lightening. 

Here are other uses for the lemonade powdered drink mix. I always keep it on hand for household chores and I can find the store brand for about $.15 a packet. 

JAG Base Assignments

The hubs received a email about Air Force JAG base assignments. In the past they would offer new officer candidates an option of two bases. The Air Force has stopped offering two base choices and now only gives you a take-it-or-leave-it base. While I am disappointed they have removed a choice, I do see their point of view. There just aren't that many openings available. I suspect it is also a way to find out which candidates are serious and eliminate some of the fence-sitters. Go big or go home, right?

I've been looking at this as a great adventure and I really don't care where we are assigned so long as the hubs enjoys his job. My sense of wanderlust is the stuff of legends. I'm not sure why the military lifestyle didn't appeal to me sooner. The idea of moving every 2-4 years is so perfectly aligned with my personality it's comical. I think it would be interesting to live in Alaska, the Pacific Northwest (or is it just the Pacific northwest?), the desert or anywhere overseas. I've never been to North Dakota. The weather is supposed to be dreadful but I think it can be as good or as bad as we make the situation. I'd love to live somewhere with mountains, four seasons and measurable snow fall.

I grew up near an Air Force base and it's the one base I have absolutely zero interest in ever seeing again. My avoidance of the area borders on hostile. I still have friends and family there and I try to visit occasionally. The visits usually involve a good sense of humor, patience, beer and less than 24 hours in town. There is also the part about avoiding all ex-boyfriends. "Anywhere but there" is the mantra I've been using every time we talk base assignments. Please keep your fingers crossed. Ugh! Been there, done that. It's just one base out of many so I'm hoping for the best since the odds are with us.

My family is smart and they can work email and buy plane tickets as easily as I can. We did pick bases close to my brothers because I'm a good sister and no fool when it comes to living near the kitchens of my sisters-in-law. (Awesomely good cooks!) Most of the choices on our dream sheet are places we've never lived and many places we've never seen. 

A few months ago I added all of our dream sheet bases to the weather app on my phone. It has been interesting to follow their weather and see the photos that people have posted about the weather. It has given me the chance to see how the weather differs from where we are now. I'm really jealous of the current conditions in quite a few places. Many places with notoriously bad weather aren't like that year round. Just looking at the high and low temps today helps ease the upcoming culture shock as I know about long springs, crisp falls and snow plows in their natural habitats. 

Housewife Approved: Must Have Products (Home Edition)

Over the years I've found some products that I can't live without. They do something that makes my life and my home run more smoothly. I'm adding some of my uses and some tips. I can clean my entire house without spending a ton on specialized cleaners. 

I am housewife...hear me roar!

You can also check out some Housewife Approved skin care items here.

1. Oxy Clean! 

I can't live without it. I've also discovered that the Kroger brand is also $3.99 for a 3.5lbs tub.

My Uses:

• Add 1/8-1/4 cup to each load of laundry with laundry detergent. I haven't purchased bleach since I started adding Oxy to each load. It's great about catching those sneaky little spills and stains that men don't think of mentioning and just toss the shirt with the stain in the laundry basket. It doesn't bleach out clothes so you can use it on colors or whites.
• Add 1/8 cup to the door of the dishwasher to give your dishwasher detergent a boost. I use it every load and hardly ever need to rewash.
• Add 1/4 cup to hot water in a mop bucket along with some Pine Sol or other smelly goodness to mop the floors.

Tip:

• Make sure you are using it it with warm or hot water. It doesn't work with cold water.
• Wear rubber gloves if you'll be washing something in the sink (curtains, delicates, etc.). It will dry your hands out faster than just about anything.
• If you find it on sale or get a coupon, buy multiples. 

2. Zout!

Back when I was a housewife in training wheels I washed and tumble dried a tube of red lipstick. Oh, the horror. It melted over my entire load of clothes that contained mostly work clothes. It was a new job and I had my new clothes on heavy rotation until the next few paychecks so my freak out was justified. I called a few friends in complete panic and one suggested Zout. She was a nurse and had done the same thing with a load of scrubs. Seems this household gem was once only sold to healthcare facilities for stain removal. Word got out and it's a secret weapon that belongs in everyone's laundry. Most recently I used it to amaze my friend after she took a bath in a very full glass of very red wine in her very cream dry clean only top.

Tip:

• Pre-treat if you can
• Spray it liberally and let it soak in and get working. Set it aside a have a glass of wine.
• You'll need to wash your hands and apply some good lotion. It will dry them out if you handle it. I try not to get my hands in it.
• There is no generic or substitute. It must be Zout. 

3. Ammonia

My step sister has a cleaning service and she taught me how to clean my whole house with clear ammonia and pine cleaner. You can save a mint on cleaning supplies. It's amazing. It's also crazy cheap. 

My Uses:

• Add 1/2 cup with a spash of pine cleaner to 1/2 gallon of hot water for mopping floors
• Add 1/2 cup with a splash of pine cleaner to 1/2 gallon for cleaning the microwave... or the wiping cabinets...or soaking grill grates...or cleaning grill tools...or just about anything.
• Add 3/4 cup of ammonia and 3/4 cup of baking soda to a load of towels to get rid of any musty smells.
• Any cleaning project I have starts with hot water in the sink, 1/2 cup of ammonia and a splash of pine cleaner. (By splash, in this instance I mean about 1/8 of a cup, adding more as necessary.)
• For particularly nasty baking dishes I will add a splash of it to the sink along with my dish soap to let things soak.

Tips:

• Only buy clear ammonia! Let me say (type) it again...ONLY BUY CLEAR (non-sudsing) AMMONIA.
• Sudsing ammonia is bad. Bad may be a strong word. It's suds up too much and leaves a residue and you can't add sudsing ammonia to the laundry. So, no sudsing stuff, ever.
• Yes, it smells ungodly. Deal. Stop sticking your nose in the bottle and inhaling. Geez.
• Used in moderation with Pine Sol or other scented all purpose cleaner the smell isn't overpowering.
• You can find it on the bottom shelf at most stores. They save those top shelves for the pricey stuff. It's often available in a store brand or other generic for about $2 for a half gallon. 
• Lemon scented is also available in the clear (non-sudsing) ammonia. 

4. Pine Sol

Shocking, I know.

Some people are Mr. Clean people. I'm a Pine Sol girl. I think my grandma used to clean with it. I love it because it reminds me of her house. 

I like Mr. Clean...I just like Pine Sol more. My friend Christopher loves Fabuloso. My aunt likes Spic N' Span. They probably all work as well but Pine Sol just smells cleaner to me. I also like the fragrance to stick around and it seems to stick around the longest. The original pine is my favorite followed by the Outdoor Fresh scent. Or is it Sparkling Wave? 

My Uses:

• I add about 1/8-1/4 cup to hot water and ammonia to clean just about everything
• Add 1/8 cup to my rug shampooer to make things smell like pine and not carpet shampoo. (I tested it first.)
• Add 1/2 cup to the laundry load when I'm washing dog beds, bath rugs, cleaning rags or kitchen towels.
• Pour some in a little warm water, get it all sudsy with your sprayer, dunk a rag, ring it, and wipe over counters, cabinets, doors, jams and other surfaces to make the house smell pretty. Let the water set in the sink for a while and it's like a sink full of air freshener. I've done this when I don't have time for a deep cleaning and have company coming over. 
• I'll pour a little of the blue in the toilet bowls just to make the bathrooms smell fresh between cleanings.

Tips:

• It's easy to find coupons online. 
• The Wal-Mart near my house sells gigantic bottles
• I sometimes add it to the laundry water when I'm washing gyms shoes or something else stinky.